Coming to terms with one's health

Ed asked told me last night " You havent been blogging Girlie." "Yes, I havent been writing anything since my foot swelled and I couldnt go out." I realized that being house bound had made my writing difficult and that I needed to see, listen and talk to my body. Since my left heel became painful, I went to the acupuncturist for weekly treatments but last week, the foot that had been treated swelled and became very painful. My first impluse was to call the acupuncturist doctor for her to see me. But I wanted to take responsibility first and did my bodytalk access. I wrote to my bodytalk mentor Dorothy Friesen and she promptly did a distance scanning of my foot.

Let me first refresh people what bodytalk is so you can benefit from this blog. Bodytalk is a health system, a complimentary system that is consciousness-based. It taps the innate wisdom of our bodies and does not claim panacea for all illness. When Ed and I took a course in bodytalk access, we were taught to respect our body integrity and to ask permission first before we do anything, especially if we were to help someone. After the course, we were encouraged to practice it on ourselves and our families. I tried it on babies, toddlers and on family members. I practised it daily and saw positive results. During small emergencies, I am able to use it as a fast aid, eg. cuts, bruises, stomach aches, colds, coughs and fever. My most painful dental treatments have become manageable with bodytalk. Even my bouts with food , eg. when taking food cooked by upset chefs, had been relieved by bodytalk protocols.

How does one tap innate body wisdom ? Dorothy Friesen does it via biomuscular feedback. She taps the part that is painful and asks. If she gets an bioelectrical pulse, she proceeds to do the protocols - steps where the brain and heart are tapped. There are five protocols we learned and they are all very easy to do. Even three year -old children can learn to do it. The protocols are done to maintain wellness and bodytalk does not claim to be a therapy for all kinds of illness.

But how do we know when we are really ill? Our bodies send many signals of which pain is the most common. When I did my foot scanning, I realized immobility is a deep source of fear - I am afraid to lose my mobility and my ability to help others. When Dorothy did a remote scanning ( since she is in Canada), she told me about my wanting to do so much for people who suffer. After Ondoy and the suffering it unleashed, I tried to do as much as I could to help. But I felt I didnt do enough. I reflected on the relief work, on the stories of those who needed help and the attitudes of people who were saved from the floods. I realized what many learned - that people have to rely on their neighbours, on families and friends to be rescued. The local government and authorities were not up to the task .The appeal to do fast emergency work were taken on by private samaritans. All these issues were in my feet.

So what am I to do ? I have to accept, as Dorothy advised, that I am one grain of sand in the sea shore. This is what I mean by coming to terms with myself and my health. I can be a samaritan my whole life, of which I am but I cannot be doineverything.What I do each day for others is part of a greater whole. With this attitude, I hope to heal my foot. Every step I take when I wake up will be to walk towards a golden day.

Communicating for a mother whose mother is dying

Last night, my orthodentist nimfa texted me about the state of her mother who had been diagnosed by her doctor to be in a state of dying, which my father describes as " the final boarding phase." She needed my help to know what her mother wanted which we call bilin since her mother could no longer talk. It was already late evening and I could not go to her place. I replied yes and gave her instructions on how I can help her communicate from a distance. In all the years that I have been helping family and friends with preparations for final departures, I have found several principles and approaches useful. First, I request that permission is given by the "departee". My name is whispered to the person and if she gives a positive sign like a nod, a smile, a hand or finger movement, then the next step is to pray with the family requesting for divine guidance. I prefer to wait and pray afar from the requesting family so that I can focus my energies on the request. Last night, when my friend texted she saw her mother smile and open her mouth after she gave my name, I started praying. The bilins came into my mind and I began sending them as sms. I asked her mother mentally several times and would send her response both in the form of questions and tasks. After an hour of texting, I asked my friend to act on what I had communicated and promised her I would see her mother the next day.

The next morning, I did my bodytalk and then prayed. I went about my work for ELF and even spent sometime to enjoy the plants in Manila Seedlings. I was waiting for the proper moment to see my friend and her mother. I also had a good massage to tone my senses and build confidence. I am most mindful when all my senses are relaxed. Around 4 pm, I was ready to see my friend and her mother.

The service I did that afternoon ranged from sensing if her mother is still in a communicating mode. When I sensed she wanted to communicate, I did the tapping of her cortices and started interpreting what chores she wants completed , naming family members to call and whose presence she wants, and whether there are family members who have departed but are already present . I did the rite of pagpapahesus, a form of praying which I learned from my mother who learned it from my grandmother. I assured my friend that her mother still had time and that she would wait till everyone she loves have arrived. After the pagpapahesus in her mother's bedroom, I asked my friend to go to church with me. There we prayed for her mother and I told her what other messages I got that afternoon for her and the family, in terms of what they will be doing until the final departure.

Once the bilins had been communicated, I withdrew from the scene and hugged my friend. Then I brought her home but I did not close the channel because I keep an open heart for any other message from the departee. In my experience, the departee has many moments of soul talk and these moments are occasions for profound learning and for receiving grace.

How to care for your ailing parent

Do you have an ailing parent? Is your father or mother in a hospital?

If yes, we share a common concern. My father, Cesar Villariba, is sick with a number of body pains. First, he has a slipped disc and cannot move without help. Second he has
so much phlegm and coughs a lot. Third, his most painful concern - being dependent entirely on my mother for all his needs. The loss of independence has been a severe blow to his self-esteem. Having been the leader in our community for six decades, since the 1950's, my father has been active in various fields : agriculture, church, coconut industry, education and politics. Now, in his 80's, he has to stay in bed and be taken cared of.

So how does my mother cope? With unconditional love and patience. In the hospital, Tatay would complain about all the medicine he needs to take. You hear him coughing and telling my mother that he wants to eat but cannot eat. My mother is 79 years old and had recovered from flu but she has no rest because she had to attend to my father.

What can you do when you have bother parents in stressful situation? Quality care comes when you realize that your parents need you now.

You start with the hope that they will recover their strength because the secret is in our bodies. I brought the great grandchildren, Andrea and Patricia, to do bodytalk access on my father. Bodytalk access is an energy medicine and it is effective. I taught Andrea, 4 years old, to tap my father's head and heart so she can stabilize him. She has fresh energy and she did what I showed her, tapping the cortices and sternum. Then I brought many teenagers, Ayen, Krisha,Pia, Jojo, Ian, Julienne,Felisha, Krisel and Tetet to visit my parents in the hospital. There were so many of them that the hospital security refused to allow the girls who came in groups. The whole Villariba clan numbers around 80 and we sneek in 20 grandchildren. With their hands pointing to my father, I told them to generate healing energies, sending a stream of love to my father.

On Saturday and Sunday, I brought Kath and Olivia, our visiting scholars from the US, to visit Tatay. I had Olivia tapping Tatay on the head and heart until he could relax and feel the fresh energy of Olivia. It worked very well and my father's mood turned positive. He was happy with Olivia and we continued the healing session.

The bodytalk session is one practice anyone can learn easily. It allows the brain to choose what it needs to do at once - balance the health needs of the body. It allows the whole body to talk to each organ and check it's health. This is good for all, young and old. Talking and listening to one"s body is the secret to health and long life.

heaven for me

i always believed in a heaven. when i grew into a feminist, heaven faded and became fuzzy. when i reached menopause,heaven resurrected and came as a revelation. what is it really ?

karen armstrong, a religious scholar said that religious creeds mean committing to a compassionate life. she said " religion is not simply about beliefs or faith. it is about compassion. the various religious tenets can be summarized in one rule : the golden rule - do not do to others what you do not want done to you ." yes, i do believe that the divine is both human and sacred. when we die , do we go to heaven if we follow the golden rule ?

yes, love and compassion do not end when we die. we cross over to another love, love for all and we can choose to be reborn to love again, hopefully unconditionally. yes, heaven is unconditional love, the state where we need not lack anything. that is why we can love those who cross over. that is the reason we remember them. because love is the eternal link.

life is a continuing lesson in love

today, i find myself thinking how it is to be fully alive. waking up with ed makes the morning moment magical. i touch his face and whisper,"oh i love you so much". i spend the moment praying my gratitude that love is alive. then i remember those who have crossed to the afterlife and send my thank you. as i rise from the bed, i look at the window and greet the bougainvillas that have been spreading their bouquets. i say thank you to the garden, to all the trees on my front yard and then go to the bathroom. as i wash myself, i look up the window to view the mango tree and marvel at how it showers us with flowers and fruits.

Inay's gift: Passing on the Torch

am in the midst of receiving of the torch from Inay, aka as Mommy dela Torre which started during her 89th birthday this february 7 in our Naujan home. yesterday, Feb.13, she crossed over with grace and dignity after a year of overcoming all the pain that diabetes inflicts .. today my tears flow nonstop as i feel her sharing a glimpse of the Light and Love that she finally sees and receives .

Inay is ed's mother. she taught us what parenting is all about. . as i reflected on her life, i realized that she is one of the most prolific mothers i know. her life is one of dedicated service, taking up challenges with a courage that i learned so much from. Inay was one of the first volunteers of the Task Force Detainees ( TFD) with sister Mariani Dimaranan ( who has crossed over too) during the martial law years. Inay's life as an activist mother was long and arduous. ed was detained twice, first in 1974, then in 1982. she went to all the prison camps where ed was detained, brought food, drink and news to the political prisoners. she even put up a piggery to support not just herself but also to help the families of political detainees . i remember Inay carrying food in bayongs and taking the bus, standing in the bus aisle because there was no seat and lugging all the food to camp Bagong Diwa in Bicutan. Inay did this for the nine years ed was detained. feeding the activists wasn't the only thing she did while ed was in detention. she bought farm land in naujan, developed the farm and gave many families a livelihood. she also helped Naujan folkschool learners to build a learning center in her farm in 2000. in 2007, during christmas, we went around the farm and noticed several families who constructed their permanent homes on the lots that Inay gave. i told ed that Inay was very generous - she did not just give them a livelihood, she even gave them homelots. these were fertile lands from her hard- earned money and those of irene, ed's only sister,who sent her remittances to inay.

for a woman who was widowed early ( ed's father vivencio died in 1947), her service record is remarkable. she raised two children and help support her eight siblings to school. inay worked her way to a mountain of public service. she never became a civil servant but did more than any public servant could do in naujan. i recall her listing the cows she distributed to many barangays and when i inquired how many," a hundred", she replied. when the floods came, people told her that they could no longer repay her because the cows perished with the waters. Inay took all the issue with equanimity.there were NGOs such as women's organizations and environmental advocates who relied on her participation and she attended to their needs with tangible work.

Inay never rose to national fame like her son ed but accomplished what we all dreamed of - developed the local economy and sustained its community. we may dream of larger hopes, but inay sowed better seeds. we rushed to protest bigger injustices, while inay walked her talk, engaged the common people and built stronger communities.

last year, on her 88th birthday when her feet developed gangrene, we prayed that her time on this life would be pain free, that she would have the grace to remember us, and that she would enjoy the love of God she generously gave to many people. she followed the lifetime growth law of making our future bigger than our past.

we love you Inay. we thank you for everything. as we gather all the fruits of your life, may you smile upon us and inspire others.

Body Talk Access

Good news for everyone. to start the year, wellness is our priority. so on jan.15 we held a healing day at bantayog and isis. ed and i sponsored with Myrla Baldonado , Alliance of US Bases Clean-up, two demonstrations of Bodytalk Access with Dorothy Friesen our certified practitioner from Chicago. Bodytalk access has three core tasks ABC : Asking the body its healing priorities, Balancing all its needs, and

Communicating to the whole system what it can do to sustain wellness. when these three processes are in progress, Bodytalk proceeds to conduct five methods called protocols: Cortices,Switching,Hydration, Body Chemistry and Reciprocals. dorothy demonstrated it on a friend ,Agnes Rio, who survived a massive stroke in cambodia. dorothy asked agnes abouyt her state, her breathing and any pain in her body. agnes said that she has a difficulty in breathing and has a pain in her left leg. then dorothy tapped on agnes ’s head and sternum with simple hand gestures and explained that she is activating the left and right brain communication system. the whole demonstration to ease agnes’ breathing and leg pain took 30 minutes and the result was impressive. agnes was happy about her new state and you could see the effect on her right away.

The BodyTalk is based on a synthesis of both Eastern and Western medicine and they describe it as energy medicine. dorothy said it does not simply combine the eastern and western medicine but continues to study the role of quantum physics in our health. we asked her how the healing happens when there is little physical effort and there is no medication or major medical protocol involved. dorothy cited several cases of healing, from third degree burns to recovery from severe diabetes. she said that we have five senses and these senses go beyond the normal perception. for example, diabetes can be seen as a conflict with ‘ the sweetness of life” and the body is unable to produce insulin. when the bodytalk practitioner conducts diagnoses, she has to go through a history of the person’s life, tracing the roots of her family’s stories and predisposition to ’sweet facts of life.” there is a body memory that the bodytalk practitioner tries to access ,much like the psychotherapy protocols and uses biofeedback to obtain a Yes or No.

in isis balai, while dorothy was demosntrating to another group of women healers, i took care of zoey, my one year old apo from a nephew. i tapped her head and heart and she started walking and running around the house. she even found the stars and started saying, “star”. as a one year old, she had a lot of curiousity and found the computer, learned how to tap it until she press the start up button. i ask dorothy about zoey ” Zoey keeps falling down when walking but she continues to walk and run even when she knows it is risky.” She is very alert and fearless (she kept running to the stairs and climbing the windows). Yes, she doesnt want to control herself when exploring her environment, unlike us adults who think we can control everything that we do with our bodies.control and fear go together, so when you let go, the body communicates to its system for balance, the fear disappears and you discover many wonderful things about life ,” dorothy explains.

as i listen to zoey laugh whenever she found new things in the house, i often wonder, can we regain that sense of wonder and joy we used to have when we were children? is that the source of our wellness, being innocent and happy with everything we see, touch and feel ? if zoey can find leaves so wonderful ( she kept touching them and laughing), is this zest for simple things what we need to be recover ?

there are still many questions ed and i have of body healing modalities but it is good to know that there is a system of energy medicine, meaning we dont have to be gifted healers to learn it. we also dont have to be doctors or specialists. bodytalk training is somewhat simpler, for the bodytalk access, one day will be enough. for the more adequate knowledge and certification as technician , five days will be enough . the practice required is six months with a hundred persons, then one takes the written exam and the physical demonstration test.

there are one day training schedules for january 24 and feb. 7. dorothy is training people in quezon city, in clark, in batangas and pampanga. those interested, please contact me asap.